THEME SONGS, DARTH VADER, AND BABY JESUS

A Sermon For Year B, Christmas 1
Copyright © 2008 Nathan L. Bostian
Based on John 1:1-18; Isaiah 61:10-62:3

Well, I don't know what the day-after-Christmas ritual is in your house, but growing up, my family spent most of the day after Christmas in the movie theater, watching at least one, often two, and sometimes three movies in a row.

It was the perfect way to recover from the insulin-induced-lethargy that comes from overdosing on too much food and sweets.

And after the all-too-real reality of spending the last 36 hours with family members you spent all year avoiding, it was nice to slip into someone else's reality on the big screen for a while.

And the thing that always intrigued me about the movies was how each character had their own theme song. And in just a few bars of that song, you knew everything you needed to know about the character.

If the music was deep and brooding, you knew it was a villain. If it was light and funny, you knew it was the awkward sidekick. If it was eerie, you knew something bad was about to happen. And if it was powerful and victorious, you knew that the hero was coming to save the day.

So, that raises the question: If your life was a movie, what would your theme song be? When you entered the room, what music would play behind you?

THE ULTIMATE PRACTICAL JOKE

A Sermon For Year A, Easter-2
Copyright © 2008 Nathan L. Bostian
Based on John 20:19-31; Acts 2:22-32; 1 Peter 1:3-9

What is the best practical joke you ever played on someone? What is the best practical joke that someone ever been played on you?

1. PRACTICAL JOKES: I have to admit that I have been both the instigator, and the receiver, of a great many practical jokes.

There, of course, have been the gross jokes: Vaseline on doorknobs... Saran wrap over the hole in the toilet...

The football team decorating the car of one of our teammates with dirty athletic supporters. That was pretty smelly...

Then there was the time we were all driving in my buddy's jeep. All of the sudden I yell "Toilet in the lawn! Toilet in the lawn!"

You see, someone had been redecorating their bathroom, and had thrown their toilet out to be picked up by the trashmen. So, we picked it up instead. And we put it on the front steps of a friend's house... Then he put it at someone else's house... Then they drove it somewhere else... And so on...

FINDING YOUR STORY IN HIS STORY

A Sermon For Year A, Second Advent

Copyright © 2007 Nathan L. Bostian

Isa. 11:1-10; Rom. 15:4-13; Mat. 3:1-12; Psa. 72
With special thanks to CS Lewis, NT Wright, and Brian McLaren

What is your favorite story? I'm not looking for the Sunday school answer. But really: What story captures your imagination so that you read it, or see it, or listen to it, time and time again? What story gives shape to the narrative of your life?

To Matt on the Problem of Petitionary Prayer

My buddy Matt Tapie recently wrote a blog that deals with faith in God and the problem of petitionary prayer (i.e. Prayers that ask God to DO something to help us). The central problem is always this: Why does God help some and not others? A few major solutions have arisen to deal with this problem:

Are all "miracles" just coincidences, completely explainable by scientific cause and effect? In this case, God is like a scientist who made this huge science fair project we call "creation", and then sits back passively to watch it run. This, by the way, is called Deism, and it leads directly to Atheism, because if God is nowhere involved in Creation, then there is no need of using God as a causal or explanatory factor at all.

Or, is God bound by the processes of the Universe to evolve along with it, growing and changing as the Universe grows and changes, like a soul that grows with a body? In this case, God cannot do anything other than what is already happening, because what is happening- good and bad- is God's personal evolution. God is doing the best God can. This is called process Theism, or panentheism, and because it leads to a view in which God never intervenes in Cration to express His personality, it usually leads to pantheism. Pantheism is the view that "God" is really the impersonal life force of the universe, source of good and evil, and unknowable to any personal being (like us).

So, all of the major solutions seem to deny key features of the Biblical revelation of God we find epitomized in Jesus Christ, who is God incarnate. This God is personal, does "intervene" on some occasions, does do "miracles" (but infrequently), and does seem to be moved by petitionary prayers. But, why is God not moved by EVERY petitionary prayer (if, indeed, he loves everyone)? Here is what I wrote to Matt:

Can we pray for the past?

I got a great question from one of my students. I thought I would throw it out for consideration and debate:

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If God is part of a separate time where he is both the past present and future all at the same time, why is it that we only pray for two of those time frames the present and the future? Is it possible to alter the past by praying for a past occurrence? I'm not talking about praying to learn from one's mistakes so as to not continue to do it in the future but actually praying for something to change in the past and actually receiving your prayer?
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Actually, this is fairly easy to answer, while also being very speculative:

Ask Nate: On Faith, Prayer, Mountains, and Seas

This week on "Ask Nate", Jake asks:

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Hey Nate,

This is one of my Biblical questions.

Mark 11:20-25  
In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter remembered and said to Jesus, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!"  "Have faith in God," Jesus answered.  "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.  Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

If our faith will let us move a mountain, why can't we do that?  Why can't I pray to God to fold my laundry?  Is it using God as a tool?  

Or are there doubts that I am just unaware of?  If I was to repeatedly say "God will allow someone to find a cure for cancer" does that mean that eventually I will believe it so whole-heartedly that eventually I will have no doubts of it?

I was just curious as to why we can't move mountains.  Do we have doubts that we'll never overcome or are we testing Him? Take your time in getting back to me.
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My first response is "Why didn't you ask about the fig tree?" I have never figured out to my satisfaction why Jesus had to curse a poor innocent fig tree to get his point across!  Some things I will just have to wait for heaven to find the exact answer to.

Theologically Correct Bible Songs (part 1)

Part of a series dedicated to revealing the concrete effects of imbalanced theologies by re-writing hymns and children's songs as if the theology were actually true.  The songs are somewhat funny, obviously badly warped, and certainly nothing we would want to teach our kids or congregations.  And yet, I think they faithfully carry out the explicit logical conclusions of certain types of theology.  If the theologies are correct, and something that people can actually believe, then WHY NOT sing these songs?  But, if the songs are horrendous, how can we keep believing the theology that underlies them (even if in a kinder, gentler, more nuanced version)?

Enough logic.  On to the songs...

God is a controlling, manipulative puppet-master

This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me: "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the Lord. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it. (Jeremiah 18:1-10)

The false God of total control

There are some false ideas of God out there that make Him into a tyrannical dictator that controls the universe on puppet strings. Everything is pre-determined and pre-destined. God has created a race of the "chosen" whom He loves and who He will save, as well as a race of the "damned" who cannot get on God's good side no matter what. Generally, you can identify the chosen by their sparkling smiles, good grammar, and clean cut appearance. The damned have tattoos, vulgar language, and they like to smoke and drink. God, it turns out, is the producer of "Leave it to Beaver" and other wholesome 50's sitcoms, and if we do not act like that, then we are going straight to hell.