Recently I watched this delightful video on the history of masculinity in English speaking lands by London historian and tour guide J Draper. In it Draper shows how masculinity has been in crisis ever since the term "masculinity" was coined in the mid-1700's. Now, the concept of "male" and "female", and diverse ideas about the archetypes that surround them, have been around in various languages in various societies as long as humans have gathered in socieities. So, the idea of certain traits associated with males and females and third gender categories were not suddenly invented in the 18th century. But what was crystallized around this time was a uniquely aristocratic Anglophonic aesthetic that was dubbed "masculinity" by which males were judged as "manly" (or not). And that aesthetic has been in crisis and constantly renegotiated ever since!
As a 21st century “dude” who very much identifies with many of our traditionally constructed ideals of “masculinity” I really loved this video and hope that more “dudes” like me would hear these points of view. On one hand: I am a 50-something, husky, weight lifting, wood working, beer drinking, bearded guy with a few tattoos. On the other hand: I make my living in long robes, with colorful vestments, doing religious rituals, and teaching on philosophy and theology and ethics and arts in a school filled with young people. So, I have my feet in two worlds regarding traditional "masculine" aesthetics.
As a result of my multiple world status, and over 30 years of working with young people who are constructing their identities, I have seen how different aesthetics and cultural constructs can help and hinder different kinds of people. I think what “traditional” accounts of “masculinity” get right are that for people to live well they need strength (the ability to bear physical and emotional weight); competency (skills and abilities to help others); and agency (opportunity and responsibility to use their strength and competency). What some “trad” accounts get wrong is that strength, competency, and agency are NOT just masculine traits. They are needed by everyone on every spectrum of identity and gender to become fully flourishing humans.
And people can develop strength, competency, and agency no matter what their biological plumbing is, whether they like to wear frilly clothes or practical clothes, speak with a lisp or a gravel tone, wear bright colors or monochromes, and love ballet or books or shopping or sports or music or construction, or any combination of any of these traits. No single aesthetic can contain any persons identity, nor should identity be reduced to aesthetic. And every aesthetic is compatible with developing strength, competency, and agency so we can embody lifegiving virtues to heal the world, and become the best version of ourselves.
So, if you are someone who leans into a certain aesthetic in presenting your identity, whether traditionally masculine or feminine, or beyond, or between, or a syncretic blend of any of these elements: I celebrate you. I just ask two things: First, that you give others the space to find and express themselves in a way that is authentic to who God made them to be too. Because we are all made in the image of a Triune God of diverse relations within one essence of Love: Made by a diverse Divine intercommunion to become a diverse human community. Second, that you orient your identity away from selfishness and hatred and fear, toward the selfless Love that makes us and sustains us. Use your identity to help you become strong and competent, so you have the agency to love others as God loves you.
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