My Life as a Toilet

There is nothing as useful

As a toilet:

When the body demands it

There is no higher priority

In the whole world.

An ever-present porcelain priest,

It receives everyone’s urine,

Everyone’s excrement,

Everyone’s vomit;

And dutifully absolves them all.

It sends them away

As far as the East is from the West.

There is nothing as despised

As a toilet:

When the need has passed

We ignore it.

Hidden away

Down the hall

In the dark;

We do not talk about it.

It reminds us of things

Unmentionable yet intimate

So we pretend it does not exist.

For we can never quite admit

That we are bound to it

(And that we cannot live without it).

On the White Throne of Judgment

We make our confession

Into the silent chasm.

Weil said it well:

"All sins are attempts to fill voids."

But when we void into the void,

The toilet reminds us with a rush

Of cold, baptismal water:

All is forgiven;

All is swept clean;

All is made new.

It is the silent guest

At Weddings and Funerals,

Baptisms and Bar Mitzvahs,

Christmas and Easter.

Can you imagine any truly meaningful event

Without a toilet?

Yet would you ever admit you need it

To make meaning?

Great Cathedrals may house the Spirit,

But a ceramic bowl houses the Incarnation

In all its messy, earthly truth.

The toilet is

Schrödinger's fixture

A quantum superposition:

Always looked at but never seen;

Nearer to us than our undergarments,

Yet pushed out of sight, out of mind.

Couches are beloved;

Beds are yearned for;

Tables summon forth creative genius;

While showers drench us in peace.

But the lowly toilet 

Is the kenosis of furniture;

It empties itself

So that we may be full again.

A monk waiting in the silence of its tiled cell,

A humble witness to our mortality,

Listening for the mechanical "amen"

Of the final flush.

 

A Provocation on Mencken and Saving Humanity

Every so often a cautionary quote about philanthropy makes its rounds, warning us against those who claim to have the best interests of others in mind:

"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule it." (H.L. Mencken)

A Litany for Protests

Since I cannot make it to any of the vigils or protests this weekend that are seeking justice for George Floyd and other black men and women who have been murdered lately, I decided to do the only other thing I am good at: Write and pray. The following is a Litany to pray for the protests across the country. I would humbly as you to pray with me if you feel comfortable, using these words or words of your own.

Racial Questions from a Suburban Kid

The following is a personal reflection intended to spur public discussion. It is the result of several conversations, online and in person, I had with other adults about the issue of racism in America after the George Floyd murder and the protests that followed. This should not be read as an academic or normative assessment of American culture (I do not have the credentials to begin to offer such an assessment). It is also not a commentary on ethnicity or race or "whiteness" or "blackness" as a monolithic phenomena. I don't think there are such monoliths, and every person's identity and experience is different, even from those in their own category or cohort or group. Rather, this is a personal reflection. To the extent my personal experience resonates with you, I would be happy to talk about it. But if this does not resonate with you, that's fine too.

I’m from the part of Gen X that went through childhood during the Reagan Era. I lived in the North Dallas suburbs, where the majority were WASPy folks like me, but there were also significant populations of African American and Latinx folks, as well as a smattering of South and East Asian families. It was not utopia by any stretch of the imagination, but we all played together on the playground, and went to each other’s houses after school, and competed together in sports. 

And at school we watched “Free to be You and Me” together, and learned that the racial divide had been largely “solved” by Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement of the 1960’s, so that we now lived in a diverse multi-racial culture. When we got into high school, race became a little more of an issue, but I don’t ever remember it stopping us from partying together, or even from dating across racial lines. Then Rodney King happened my junior year and the L.A. riots followed. But that was still far away from me, and different from my experience of race where I lived in the North Dallas suburbs. 

But in the last decade it seems like Rodney King happens every month. Sometimes more. And it happens to young black men and old black men and black men walking and black men jogging and black men standing and even black men sleeping in their own homes. And it happens even in places where I have lived and worked. And it is heart breaking and maddening and disorienting. And I wonder how I could have been so blind to such systemic exclusion and oppression for so much of my life. 

I know the short answer is my privilege: Since it wasn’t me or my class that was experiencing the effects of racism, I was not attuned to see it unless there was a blatant display right in front of me. Which is rarely the case, because most racists will not admit to being racist. Even to themselves. And, if I am really honest, even to myself. Because as I grow older I find these remnants of racism and sexism and prejudice that emerge like festering splinters needing to be taken out. 

But still, I wonder...

Taking a stand for taking a knee

Like it or not, the #takeaknee protest movement has gotten us all talking. Unfortunately much of that talking is past each other rather than with each other. I have seen every conceivable reaction from both sides of this issue in equal amounts on my social media feed this weekend.

A Theology of Leadership

Recently, in applying for a program of graduate studies in educational leadership, it became clear that I have a rather glaring lacuna in my training and education up to this point: In depth reflection on the goals and processes of leadership. It occurs to me that, while I have read fairly widely and written on many aspects of pastoral life, from Biblical studies to Liturgy, from Systematic theology to Systems theory in Congregational Development, from Ecumenical Councils to Crisis Counseling, I have never focused on leadership as such.

Leadership is something I do every day, and something I teach others about. But I have never delved deeply into the theoretical foundations of leadership, and I would characterize my own understanding and practice of leadership as largely mentor-based, intuitive, and "caught rather than taught". So, with that said, I would like to express both systemically and yet somewhat naively what leadership is to me, why I think leadership is important, how I have seen leadership practiced and mis-practiced, and most importantly, how leadership reflects the nature and purposes of the Triune God.