THE ULTIMATE PRACTICAL JOKE

A Sermon For Year A, Easter-2
Copyright © 2008 Nathan L. Bostian
Based on John 20:19-31; Acts 2:22-32; 1 Peter 1:3-9

What is the best practical joke you ever played on someone? What is the best practical joke that someone ever been played on you?

1. PRACTICAL JOKES: I have to admit that I have been both the instigator, and the receiver, of a great many practical jokes.

There, of course, have been the gross jokes: Vaseline on doorknobs... Saran wrap over the hole in the toilet...

The football team decorating the car of one of our teammates with dirty athletic supporters. That was pretty smelly...

Then there was the time we were all driving in my buddy's jeep. All of the sudden I yell "Toilet in the lawn! Toilet in the lawn!"

You see, someone had been redecorating their bathroom, and had thrown their toilet out to be picked up by the trashmen. So, we picked it up instead. And we put it on the front steps of a friend's house... Then he put it at someone else's house... Then they drove it somewhere else... And so on...

What do Anglicans believe happens in the communion meal?

The short answer is that we believe that Christ is really present in the sacrament of Communion. To understand this, we must remember what a "sacrament" is. The prayer book defines it as "an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace" (BCP 1979 pp. 357-361). In short, it is a physical thing, like bread, wine, water, oil, that God uses to share the presence and power of Jesus Christ, through the working of His Spirit.

Yet, there is much more to say...

A CHRIST FOR EVERY TASTE?

A Sermon For Year A, Easter Sunday
Copyright © 2008 Nathan L. Bostian

Based on Acts 5:25-32; 10:34-43; Luke 24:13-35

1. A CHRIST FOR EVERY TASTE: One of the interesting things about being on my side of the Easter phenomenon is looking at how other churches and ministries do Easter, and comparing and contrasting it with what we do.

As I was driving around this week, I noticed at almost every major intersection in my town, clusters of plastic signs by the side of the road offering every conceivable type of Easter worship experience.

A CROWN FOR A KING

A Sermon For Year A, Passion Sunday
Copyright © 2008 Nathan L. Bostian

Based on Matthew 26:69-27:54

Tonight I would like us to take a mental tour- a tour with our imagination- of the day that Jesus was condemned... The day that Jesus was finally "crowned" as a King.

A perfect life. Perfect love. He healed and delivered all who trusted in Him. The blind see. The crippled walk. The hungry are fed. And now this...

Jesus, eyes swollen, face bruised, body beaten, stands before crooked judges after becoming a victim of police brutality...

Then the high priest stood up before them and asked Jesus:

"Have you no answer? What is it that they testify against you?"

Look into the narrow eyes of the high priest. Can you see the hate? Can you see the judgment? Can you see the rage?

IMAGINE YOU ARE A BLIND BEGGAR

A Sermon For Year A, Lent 4
Copyright © 2008 Nathan L. Bostian

Based on John 9:1-38

Tonight I want to do something a little different than what I usually do. Usually I try to connect with your mind, and challenge you to make a decision to follow Christ in a deeper way.

Tonight I want to engage your imagination. I want to help you see something. For some it may be seeing something entirely new. For others, it may be a reminder of things they have already seen.

I want to lead you in an ancient spiritual practice that the monastic traditions call "meditatio", and what we may know of today as "meditation".

But this is not meditation where you clear your mind and try not to think at all. Clearing oneself is actually part of something called contemplation. Rather, in Christian Spirituality, meditation actively engages the imagination to think upon a specific object, a specific image, a specific text of Scripture.

Tonight, I want to show you how to use a text of Scripture- namely our Gospel Drama tonight- to pray with Christ through your imagination.

IS JESUS JUST A LIFESTYLE ACCESSORY?

A Sermon For Year A, Lent 3

Copyright © 2007 Nathan L. Bostian

Based on Exodus 17:1-7; Romans 5:1-11; John 4:5-42

Have you ever thought about what it takes to make your life complete? What can you NOT imagine life without? What stuff- whether products, possessions, places, or things- do you HAVE TO HAVE to consider yourself fulfilled?

Have you ever really thought about it?

For instance: When you think about a perfectly fulfilled life, what is the minimum sized place you would have to live in?

What is the minimum car you would have to drive?

What is the minimum salary you would have to make?

What is the minimum amount of clothes and shoes you would have to own? Where is the minimum store you would buy them from?

WHAT'S SO SINFUL ABOUT SIN?

A Sermon For Year A, First Lent

Copyright © 2008 Nathan L. Bostian

Based on Genesis 2-3; Romans 5:12-19; Psalm 51; John 1:9-18

What's so sinful about sin? Why is sin so bad? What is all the fuss about?

I mean, if you read what Paul says in Romans, you would think the world is going to heck in a handbasket. He talks about sin entering the world through Adam, and then death happening because of sin... And eventually, like a bad Rambo movie, sin kills everyone.

It sounds like whatever sin is, it must be horrible. And whoever this Adam guy is, he must have REALLY screwed up royally.

So, you turn to the beginning to find out what all went down to make everything go bad, and what you find is... well... let's be honest here... childish.

In fact, the story looks more like a children's fantasy than an explanation about how the world got so botched. A children's story with nudity, that is.

DO OUR SPIRITS CHANGE?

Today on facebook, one of my friends asked me a difficult question about the nature of our Spirits. First he noted that:

"A) God created us in his image.
B) God is unchanging.
C) Animals are instinctive and vulgar creatures, conforming themselves to their environment to survive.
D) Humans are amphibians, part spiritual beings, part animal."

Then he asked:

"But our spirit is eternal, right? ... How about here on earth? It is possible to taint your spirit, to throw in the Enemy's camp. So our spirit is capable of change, right? What do you think?"

Here is what I think:

Scripture: The Story that Reads Us

OK, instead of writing a sermon this last week, I drew a picture. Click above to see it.

The basic thesis that drives the chart above (and the sermon that went with it) is that Scripture is a grand Story which reads us and interprets our lives to us. When we find our place in the outworking Story revealed in Scripture, we find our true identity in Christ. This Story has seven "ages" or "chapters":

1. The Creation.
2. The Crisis.
3. The Calling.
4. The Christ.
5. The Commission.
6. The Church.
7. The Completion.

Let me describe a little of what is going on here. The idea that "Scripture is a grand Story into which all of our personal stories are being woven" is not a new one. It has its roots in the early Church tradition. One exemplar that I can think of is Irenaeus and his theory of Jesus Christ recapitulating and redeeming the whole human story.

I WANT TO FIND GOD- BUT JUST NOT THERE

A Sermon For Year A, Epiphany 3

Copyright © 2007 Nathan L. Bostian

Based on 1 Corinthians 1:10-17; Matthew 4:12-23; Psalm 139

You know, in my line of work, one of the questions that frequently gets asked of me is "Where do I find God?" It may be asked many different ways.

Some may say "I just feel so distant from God. I wish he was closer. I wish I knew where to find him."

Another may say "I want to know how this God-stuff is relevant to my life. I don't get the whole Christianity thing."

Yet another may say "What does God want from my life? I keep asking for direction, but it seems like nothing happens."

The question comes in a thousand varieties, but at the core there is a similar reality: There is a hunger for God, and awareness that God SHOULD be there... But at the same time there is a profound awareness of God's absence.

Christian history in a nutshell?

Recently on a discussion board I came across this quote which is both inaccurate and annoying:

"Christianity began as a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. When it went to Athens, it became a philosophy. When it went to Rome, it became an organization. When it went to Europe, it became a culture. When it came to America, it became a business."

I know this quote is posted up all over the internet. It is an attempt to sum up Christian history in a very convenient, very protestant, very individualistic nutshell. Hopefully this blog will be read by someone to put this lie to rest:

FINDING YOUR STORY IN HIS STORY

A Sermon For Year A, Second Advent

Copyright © 2007 Nathan L. Bostian

Isa. 11:1-10; Rom. 15:4-13; Mat. 3:1-12; Psa. 72
With special thanks to CS Lewis, NT Wright, and Brian McLaren

What is your favorite story? I'm not looking for the Sunday school answer. But really: What story captures your imagination so that you read it, or see it, or listen to it, time and time again? What story gives shape to the narrative of your life?

HOW TO WIN THE CHRISTMAS WARS

A Sermon For Year A, Advent 1

Copyright © 2007 Nathan L. Bostian

Based on Romans 13.8-14

Ahhh! Advent! The beginning of our Church year. The time when Christians all over the world begin to prepare themselves spiritually for the arrival of our Lord.

In the Church, our color is purple. Purple is the color of Royalty. The color of Kings. The color for King Jesus, the God who became human. Our candles are lit awaiting his arrival.

Outside of the Church, the color is green and red. It is the color of ancient pagan revelry, the celebration of winter solstice.

Our garlands are wrapped, our trees are trimmed, our credit cards are getting maxed out.

You know what time it is: It is time for the cultural Christmas wars!

CHRISTARCHY

A Sermon For Christ the King Sunday, Year C

Copyright © 2007 Nathan L. Bostian

Based on Jeremiah 23:1-6, Colossians 1:11-20, Luke 23:35-43

Not so long ago, in a suburb not so far away, there lived skater-punk, who rode around on his well worn skateboard, with hair in his eyes, a concert t-shirt, ripped up jeans, half destroyed converse shoes, and something between a smirk and a sneer constantly glued on his face.

And if you looked close at his skateboard, or his shoes, or his jeans, or his notebooks, or the back of his hand, you would see scrawled a circle with an "A" in the middle of it:

The international punk rock sign for ANARCHY.

Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out?

Today, a friend named Jake facebooked me this question:

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From Today's English Version Good News Bible: Deuteronomy 3:3 So the Lord also placed King Og and his people in our power and we slaughtered them all.

SLAUGHTERED.

Slaughtered seems a bit rough dontcha think? Why was God getting his people to be so violent and if it weren't God's intentions to be so gruesome dontcha think he would have stepped in? Continued in that chapter verses 6 and 7 speak of having put to death men, women and children and then taking livestock and plundering the towns.

Something about that seems wrong. If it were huge sinners that God ordered to be killed that might be different, but then we probably wouldn't be taking their livestock because I would think them to be "plagued by the sin of their owners" or something of that nature. So what's the deal?
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My Answer:

Anglican versus Andersonian Ecclesiology

Alright. I am just as tired of "conservative" schismatics, as I am of "revisionist" heretics. I need a little ranting room, if you don't mind. I do not know what to post first here, so I will let you (the reader) decide. This article is about an email I received from David Anderson of the American Anglican Council (one of the soon-to-be schismatic groups vying for American conservative Anglicans and their money).

I have pasted the email at the end, with my own paragraph markings [] for easy reference. Anytime you see a number inside [ ], that is a reference to Anderson's letter. The people referred to in the article are Rowan++ (the archbishop of Canterbury) and John Howe+ (the bishop of Central Florida).

Anderson writes an odd, and somewhat unconnected letter about what is wrong with the way Rowan++ perceives the Church, and underlying his critique, there seems to be a radical revision of Anglican ecclesiology going on in Anderson's mind. Ecclesiology, if you do not know, is the doctrine of the Church (ekklesia), what the Church is, how She is led, and what She does. This article is an attempt to tease out this new, revisionist "Andersonian" ecclesiology (and why it is neither Biblical nor Anglican).

MY ADDRESS TO DIOCESE CONVENTION 2007

Well, this weekend was the annual convention for the Diocese of Dallas. There was a possibility of things being really contentious (with everything going on in the National Church, and the Anglican Communion). But, I have to hand it to our bishop and our whole Diocese family: We all did a good job of holding it together. I am proud of us.

At the convention I was elected to be one of our representatives to our Province. For those who are Episcopal-challenged, here is an outline of our Church organization, and what a Province is: The basic unit of the Church is the Diocese, which is the entire Church in a geographic region (think of it like this: When Paul writes to "The Church in Rome" or "The Church in Galatia", he is writing to every Christian in that entire area, whether or not they meet in several locations or not. This region is a Diocese).

Within each Diocese are dozens of parishes, or local manifestations of the Church (think of it like this: At the end of Romans when Paul speaks of individual house-churches within the entire Roman Church, this is like a Parish). Now, for the purpose of organizing together, Dioceses are usually grouped in Provinces, which are made up of multiple Dioceses. And provinces make up national churches (like the Church of England, Nigeria, or the United States). Then all of these national Churches make up the whole Anglican Communion. There are some exceptions to this rule (hey, we're Anglican, and there's always exceptions), but this is the general outline.

So, it goes like this from small to big: Parish - DIOCESE - Province - National Church - Worldwide Communion. Make sense?

SOLDIERS, FARMERS, AND ATHLETES

A Sermon For Year C, Proper 23
Copyright © 2007 Nathan L. Bostian

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2 Timothy 2:3-15
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SERMON: I was wondering: Just between you and me, do the Bible readings on Sunday ever make you uncomfortable? Do you ever feel like you come to worship for joy and encouragement, only to be confronted with ideas that are uncomfortable and perplexing?

I mean, we have had a difficult month of readings. Last week, we heard the prophet Habakkuk get angry and ask God hard questions about how he could let the wicked prosper and the righteous perish.

The week before that we heard Jesus tell a story about a rich man suffering in the flames of hell. And the week before that Jesus told us a parable about how an embezzling manager not only got away with embezzlement, but was rewarded for his shrewdness in doing so!

These readings do not leave us with a warm fuzzy feeling. They often leave us with more questions than answers: questions about God's justice, about God's goodness, about the purity of our own motives, and about our eternal destiny. These are hard questions. Disturbing questions.

ANGRY WITH GOD

A Sermon For Year C, Proper 22
Copyright © 2007 Nathan L. Bostian

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Based on Habakkuk 1:1-13;2:1-4
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SERMON: Quick quiz: As followers of Jesus, what is the proper range of emotions to express in our relationship with God? What are the "correct" emotional responses to feel toward God?

Well, as Jesus followers from the Episcopal tribe, we are very comfortable with reverence. We like to be reverent toward God, with a sort of muted awe, silent admiration, and inward appreciation of God's beauty. We know what it means to "worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness".

We also value thoughtfulness. We like to meditate on God, without being given the "answers", as we look at ideas about God in our imagination. We truly value asking difficult questions, and deeply pondering the possible answers. In fact, sometimes we so deeply value thinking ABOUT God, that we fail talk TO God!

But, that's another sermon...

ONE HELL OF A SERMON

A Sermon For Proper 21 Year C
Copyright © 2007 Nathan L. Bostian

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Based on 1 Timothy 6:11-19; Luke 16:19-31
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After hearing a Gospel reading like that, I bet I know what many people are thinking "Is he really serious about all of this eternal torment stuff?"

And it is not Jesus who we are talking about. Many of us assume that Jesus' "hell parables" are either over-exaggerations intended to make us behave, or simply deluded holdovers from a backwards world-view, that believes in eternal torment.

Now, since most of us want to make Jesus into the prototypical enlightened humanist, we prefer to say that he was not deluded. Instead, he was just exaggerating. His is giving us a carrot and a stick to make us into nice people. The carrot is heaven, and the stick is the threat of hell.