During sleep last week I had a peculiar dream. In it, I was some kind of cosmic adventurer at the end of human civilization. Centuries perhaps millennia into the future, we had conquered the stars. We were a galactic species spread across untold solar systems. We had the powers of gods. We could transverse space and time as easily as walking into the kitchen. We suffered no lack of food, resources, or intelligence. We created public works that were the size of planets. Yet there were few people. Solar system after solar system were ghost towns, inhabited by barely anyone. They were reminiscent of immense shopping malls that had been closed down and swept clean. The occupants long ago moved out. And the inhabitants that were there were apathetic, listless, bored, weary, hopeless. They had every toy and power and knowledge and resource at their fingertips. Yet all they possessed was profound anomie. Devoid of curiosity or joy or wonder, they passed the days with whatever distractions they could find, waiting for death to relieve their boredom. A death that was centuries or millennia distant due to the technology on hand. There were no children. No play. No spark. Just the monotony of their living death. When I awoke, I could not shake the feeling of dread. It carried through the entire day.
I have long been fascinated by the "if only" of increased knowledge and technology. And I mean technology in the broadest sense. From "if only we had the medical technology to cure cancer or diabetes or obesity", to "if only we had the scientific technology to create unlimited sustainable power and bend space and time to go to other solar systems", to "if only we had the psycho-spiritual technology to attain perfect control over our emotions and bodily processes". "If only" we had these technologies we would finally be free to explore and enjoy the cosmos, maximize our lifespans, and shape our inner and outer world to fulfill our deepest desires. Then we would have control. Then we would have wisdom. Then we would have happiness. "If only..."
But the truth is that every corresponding increase in human power brings a normalization of that power. If our average lifespan is 80 years, someone who dies at 60 is considered young. Whereas 500 years ago, 60 would be elderly. But if our lifespan averages 1000 years, someone who dies at 900 would be a tragedy. If the average IQ-- as dubious as that measurement is-- were to shoot up to 200 by our standards, then that would, by definition, become merely a 100 IQ in the new culture. In the past a two hour walk or horse ride was mundane, but now a two hour car ride takes you exponentially further, and two hours in the air will take you across a continent. But all are equally mundane. In the future a two hour trip may take you to the moon, or the edge of the solar system, or half way across the galaxy. And all will seem equally mundane to the people of that time.
The Ancient Book of Ecclesiastes tells us that "with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief" (1.18). We could say the same about power of any kind: The more we have it, the more we expect it; The more we expect it, the more we are accustomed to it; The more we are accustomed to it, the more we normalize it; The more normal it is, the more we are bored by it. It is not that power or wisdom or knowledge are bad. Not at all. The technology we create is able to increase our lives and the breadth of our experience, while decreasing suffering and ignorance. These are good so long as they are not treated as ends in themselves. But when we pursue them as ends in themselves, we find ourselves profoundly empty. If we cannot deeply enjoy and appreciate the life we have, right here, right now, then we will never enjoy and appreciate it when it is magnified by 100, or when the volume is turned up to 11.
The key to a deeply fulfilling life is not the collection of external toys and trinkets and tools, as fun as they can be. The key to a deeply fulfilling life is the cultivation of the internal capacity to deeply appreciate and embrace the life you have right here and right now. "If only..." will never satisfy us if we are not already passionately in love with the people and places and events we have access to this day, this week, this year. We need to attune ourselves to the mysterious wonder and awe and intricacy of the confluence of time and space and chance and causality that has brought us to such a time as this. If we find ourselves bored and apathetic to the chances we already have, then multiplying those chances over the span of 20 lifetimes will only make our lives a living hell of boredom and disappointment, no matter how many toys we possess. But if we can find depth and satisfaction today in the circumstances we find ourselves in, then life will be fulfilling event if it is cut short in time and resources.
Cultivate the inner capacity for wonder and awe and curiosity and creativity, and then our outer world will become a heaven on Earth. Rely on external power and entertainment and distraction and diversion, and then our inner world will become a hell on Earth. A rich inner life leads to a fulfilling outer life, no matter how simple. A shallow inner life leads to a disappointing outer life, no matter how rich. The choice, as always, is up to us.
Post Script: I am almost certain some of the short stories from the book “The Fifth Science” by Exurb1a formed the background for the dream described above. It is well worth the read, both for enjoyment and for spirituality.
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