Twas the Night before Christmas and all through the gym
Every lifter was repping to get swole or get thin
The Weightlifters snatched and cleaned with great care
Crossfitters did muscle-ups and thrusters into the air
Strongwomen flipped tires and atlas stones over bars
As Powerlifters benched, squatted, and deadlifted PRs
Bodybuilders put their dumbbells neatly in rows
For endless drop-sets to feel the pump as they grow
When what to their wondering eyes did appear
But Jacked Santa Claus dragging exhausted reindeer
He farmer-carried Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen!
And repped Rudolph, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen!
Everyone was shocked at the six pack in his belly
"We thought that you jiggled, like a bowl full of jelly!"
Santa then replied with his loud booming voice
"One day I realized that my health was my choice
So I learned how to get ripped, strong, muscular, and mobile
Like a supple leopard, sleek, powerful, and noble.
I had the elves build a gym, and learn about nutrition
To keep me always in peak gift-delivery condition.
I traded in cookies and milk for vitamins and whey.
I drink gallons of water and 200 grams of protein per day.
So throw some plates on the bar and then let's train
Merry Christmas to all, may you all make great gains!"
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